"Welcome to our hell, Ross. You have caught a glimpse into the reality of every working woman in America. That panic you felt, the sense that the system punishes you for stepping away to care for your family? Women live it every single day across the country." YES, Reshma! I thought the same thing when I listened yesterday.
What left me scratching my head after the interview was about the broader goal of our workplaces. What are they for? If the "workplace" is simply a vehicle for driving shareholder value and financial return, then yeah, maybe we "ruined" it by suggesting everybody pump the breaks, look around and register the impact our institution are having on individuals, families, society, the planet, etc... Maybe our instinct to optimize for the collective over the bottom line does erode corporate profits?
But so what? If we are going to truly honor the contributions of our women in the workplace, we need broader measuring stick for what makes an organization successful, beyond the P&L.
I read the entire, dreadful, version that appeared in the NYT, and then saw on video the exchange between the two conservative "feminists" over what virtues - if any - could be described as feminine. I then realized that the difference between these two conservative feminists is that one has internalized patriarchal misogyny and hates women deeply (Andrews), while the other (Sargeant) is comfortable with hierarchies based on 19th century pseudoscience about the biological basis of gender roles and natural (white) male superiority. Elsewhere, I found a piece by Andrews about how "HR" and then "HR ladies" (her term) have ruined the workplace by offering workers a safe place to express their grievances. She truly is a Dickensian nightmare villain, steeped in the female-hating right-wing Catholic tradition. To see her sneer at Sargeant in the video is to gain access into her dark soul.
This response was everything. NYT continues to disappoint me with its restraint on the cruelty of this administration and now asking completely the wrong, unproductive question about working in America.
People on the left do not think that that the NYT is "the most liberal" -- the NYT itself does not position itself that way either. Listen, I think the news is doing its best to stay out of Trump's crosshairs, which makes sense in a every pub for itself sort of way, but it's disappointing to see from what is definitely among the most influential.
And I agree, they are not "pro-Trump" -- i said they practice restraint in their reporting on what has been an exceptionally cruel year in American life.
On the opinion side (which this Ross dumpster fire that Reshma was writing on is part of) though, it's been shocking. From Brent Stephens defending the war against Gaza as not a genocide because not enough people have been killed, to the non-endorsement-endorsement of Cuomo over Mamdani across three different pieces, hard to say "most liberal."
Such an intelligent, articulate exposure of today's reality and where the actual accountability lies! I agree with the comment that this should be mandatory reading.
This is so beautifully written — truly, well done. 👏🏼👏🏼 And I’ll add this: yes, women did and are “ruining” the workplace — and thank goodness. The workplace, as it exists, was built within a capitalist, patriarchal system that was never designed with women or families in mind. It should be dismantled.
We need to center women and families in every layer of society — in our homes, in our workplaces, in our medical system. Women are the creators, the ones who literally bring every single human being into the workforce. If women’s needs and values aren’t centered, the needs and values of our entire country begin to erode. (Hello, present day.)
So yes: let’s “ruin” the workforce that was built on values suited for robots and machines — not humans. Not women, not families, not men. No one. Let it burn. And in its place, let’s build systems that, at minimum, provide adequate paid family leave. And while we’re at it, let’s bring in unlimited menstrual leave.
It is hilarious you talk about centering work around women, but also acting like robots & machines are not taking jobs. Y'all won't be in much of a place for negotiating all these fabulous communist benefits when you are replaced by an AI.
Family leave? they have 3 years in Germany, with the result that women there find it far more difficult to get hired (especially at top level, responsible jobs). You do realize that amongst certain social classes... having a baby every 3 years would essentially give you a free income for life and companies would be on the hook for it, almost forever (at least until you hit menopause!). You cannot even dream of such a thing in a nation that has 36 million illegal aliens, who have huge families and who would glom onto the "freebies".
Lastly: you scream about capitalism, but all these jobs exist BECAUSE of capitalism... without capitalism, you'd be on a farm plowing the back 40.
Women don't even have their basic needs met. Just as you pointed out in the article, America is the only wealthy country without paid leave. Yet, the moment our voices are finally heard, the headlines immediately paint us as 'hysterical feminists' who are destroying everything it means to be a woman. I think they have completely crossed the line at this point. Dear Reshma Thank you for this wonderful, deeply needed piece.
Thank you for your thoughts on this. I really believe that women and working moms, are stuck in structures that were never built for us. As a working mom with 3 little kids, with career growth, and competing ambitions I struggle through the rules written by others every day.
That line about every breakthrough quarter depending on mothers patching together impossible schedules? I can't unhear it. We keep talking about fixing women when we should be talking about fixing the systems we're all drowning in.
What strikes me is that we often treat this as a cultural debate, when it’s fundamentally a systems design issue. The workplace wasn’t built for the full reality of people’s lives, and now we’re asking it to absorb something it was never designed to handle.
The tension we’re seeing isn’t because expectations changed. It’s because the underlying system didn’t.
Completely agree. I wrote about the moment performance slowly turned into self-abandonment. About being the “secret weapon” in high pressure rooms, the nervous system cost of always recalibrating, and what happened when the clothes stopped working. Would love to know what you think. https://jes321.substack.com/p/when-the-clothes-stopped-working
I'm just curious, but why -- after 60 years of feminism (whether you agree it has feminized the workplace or not -- do men not do any school pickups? why are there even any school pickups? do you realize the reason there even ARE school pickups is that spoiled, whinging leftist liberal PUBLIC UNION TEACHERS demand and get a 19th century school year/day, where kids get out at 2:30PM instead of 6PM? You are really blaming the wrong people here. Why not demand a school day that matches ordinary work schedules? why not ask your husband to pick the kids up at school? WHY??? why do YOU -- presumably a feminist -- think HIS JOB is more important than your own?
Also: why DO women take off for newborns and not their husband's? Ross's response is about his own work needs/desires, but he says nothing about what his WIFE wanted! why do women care for aging parents and not men? what would make a man incapable of taking his elderly parents to the doctor? You are lobbing a lot of accusations here without basis in facts or research or even "asking around" (*outside of your liberal blue blue blue environment and your personal friends).
Lastly: companies that pay for egg freezing are incredibly rare and 99.999% of working women are not offered this.
"Welcome to our hell, Ross. You have caught a glimpse into the reality of every working woman in America. That panic you felt, the sense that the system punishes you for stepping away to care for your family? Women live it every single day across the country." YES, Reshma! I thought the same thing when I listened yesterday.
What left me scratching my head after the interview was about the broader goal of our workplaces. What are they for? If the "workplace" is simply a vehicle for driving shareholder value and financial return, then yeah, maybe we "ruined" it by suggesting everybody pump the breaks, look around and register the impact our institution are having on individuals, families, society, the planet, etc... Maybe our instinct to optimize for the collective over the bottom line does erode corporate profits?
But so what? If we are going to truly honor the contributions of our women in the workplace, we need broader measuring stick for what makes an organization successful, beyond the P&L.
I read the entire, dreadful, version that appeared in the NYT, and then saw on video the exchange between the two conservative "feminists" over what virtues - if any - could be described as feminine. I then realized that the difference between these two conservative feminists is that one has internalized patriarchal misogyny and hates women deeply (Andrews), while the other (Sargeant) is comfortable with hierarchies based on 19th century pseudoscience about the biological basis of gender roles and natural (white) male superiority. Elsewhere, I found a piece by Andrews about how "HR" and then "HR ladies" (her term) have ruined the workplace by offering workers a safe place to express their grievances. She truly is a Dickensian nightmare villain, steeped in the female-hating right-wing Catholic tradition. To see her sneer at Sargeant in the video is to gain access into her dark soul.
This should be mandatory reading. Spot on. Every word. 👌
This response was everything. NYT continues to disappoint me with its restraint on the cruelty of this administration and now asking completely the wrong, unproductive question about working in America.
The NYT is literally the most liberal publication in the US, utterly dominated by liberal editors & writers and you think they are pro-Trump?
People on the left do not think that that the NYT is "the most liberal" -- the NYT itself does not position itself that way either. Listen, I think the news is doing its best to stay out of Trump's crosshairs, which makes sense in a every pub for itself sort of way, but it's disappointing to see from what is definitely among the most influential.
And I agree, they are not "pro-Trump" -- i said they practice restraint in their reporting on what has been an exceptionally cruel year in American life.
On the opinion side (which this Ross dumpster fire that Reshma was writing on is part of) though, it's been shocking. From Brent Stephens defending the war against Gaza as not a genocide because not enough people have been killed, to the non-endorsement-endorsement of Cuomo over Mamdani across three different pieces, hard to say "most liberal."
And these people say it better than me: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DQ7cPSfkamB/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ%3D%3D
Loved this piece. Excellent work.
Such an intelligent, articulate exposure of today's reality and where the actual accountability lies! I agree with the comment that this should be mandatory reading.
Thank you so much for writing this piece, Reshma.
This is so beautifully written — truly, well done. 👏🏼👏🏼 And I’ll add this: yes, women did and are “ruining” the workplace — and thank goodness. The workplace, as it exists, was built within a capitalist, patriarchal system that was never designed with women or families in mind. It should be dismantled.
We need to center women and families in every layer of society — in our homes, in our workplaces, in our medical system. Women are the creators, the ones who literally bring every single human being into the workforce. If women’s needs and values aren’t centered, the needs and values of our entire country begin to erode. (Hello, present day.)
So yes: let’s “ruin” the workforce that was built on values suited for robots and machines — not humans. Not women, not families, not men. No one. Let it burn. And in its place, let’s build systems that, at minimum, provide adequate paid family leave. And while we’re at it, let’s bring in unlimited menstrual leave.
Let’s goooo.
It is hilarious you talk about centering work around women, but also acting like robots & machines are not taking jobs. Y'all won't be in much of a place for negotiating all these fabulous communist benefits when you are replaced by an AI.
Family leave? they have 3 years in Germany, with the result that women there find it far more difficult to get hired (especially at top level, responsible jobs). You do realize that amongst certain social classes... having a baby every 3 years would essentially give you a free income for life and companies would be on the hook for it, almost forever (at least until you hit menopause!). You cannot even dream of such a thing in a nation that has 36 million illegal aliens, who have huge families and who would glom onto the "freebies".
Lastly: you scream about capitalism, but all these jobs exist BECAUSE of capitalism... without capitalism, you'd be on a farm plowing the back 40.
Women don't even have their basic needs met. Just as you pointed out in the article, America is the only wealthy country without paid leave. Yet, the moment our voices are finally heard, the headlines immediately paint us as 'hysterical feminists' who are destroying everything it means to be a woman. I think they have completely crossed the line at this point. Dear Reshma Thank you for this wonderful, deeply needed piece.
Thank you for your thoughts on this. I really believe that women and working moms, are stuck in structures that were never built for us. As a working mom with 3 little kids, with career growth, and competing ambitions I struggle through the rules written by others every day.
Go make me a sandwich and shut upgo make me a sandwich
That line about every breakthrough quarter depending on mothers patching together impossible schedules? I can't unhear it. We keep talking about fixing women when we should be talking about fixing the systems we're all drowning in.
This really resonates.
What strikes me is that we often treat this as a cultural debate, when it’s fundamentally a systems design issue. The workplace wasn’t built for the full reality of people’s lives, and now we’re asking it to absorb something it was never designed to handle.
The tension we’re seeing isn’t because expectations changed. It’s because the underlying system didn’t.
I discuss this in my new essay https://elizalauren.substack.com/p/how-the-media-undermines-feminist?r=6q7302&utm_medium=ios
Completely agree. I wrote about the moment performance slowly turned into self-abandonment. About being the “secret weapon” in high pressure rooms, the nervous system cost of always recalibrating, and what happened when the clothes stopped working. Would love to know what you think. https://jes321.substack.com/p/when-the-clothes-stopped-working
I'm just curious, but why -- after 60 years of feminism (whether you agree it has feminized the workplace or not -- do men not do any school pickups? why are there even any school pickups? do you realize the reason there even ARE school pickups is that spoiled, whinging leftist liberal PUBLIC UNION TEACHERS demand and get a 19th century school year/day, where kids get out at 2:30PM instead of 6PM? You are really blaming the wrong people here. Why not demand a school day that matches ordinary work schedules? why not ask your husband to pick the kids up at school? WHY??? why do YOU -- presumably a feminist -- think HIS JOB is more important than your own?
Also: why DO women take off for newborns and not their husband's? Ross's response is about his own work needs/desires, but he says nothing about what his WIFE wanted! why do women care for aging parents and not men? what would make a man incapable of taking his elderly parents to the doctor? You are lobbing a lot of accusations here without basis in facts or research or even "asking around" (*outside of your liberal blue blue blue environment and your personal friends).
Lastly: companies that pay for egg freezing are incredibly rare and 99.999% of working women are not offered this.